Gosh, I've been absent from this blog for one month. How time flies!
I've been extremely busy, adjusting to the new job environment and to my "boss" management style. Umm, I've lots to say about this aspect but maybe later.
I'm afraid my dream (before starting this job) of having more time for my writing did not turn out too well. I'm struggling to make time to fit all my commitments into this fixed time vacuum the world allows us.
I try to sleep by 12 midnight every night but sometimes I stay up later than that to catch up on my writing. However, after a couple of such nights, I'll be zombieing my way every where so in the end I give up these late nights. Well, at least until a few days later and my brain wants to zombie again.
Okay, I know I'm babbling, so no more. Good night.
Showing posts with label work. Show all posts
Showing posts with label work. Show all posts
Monday, October 29, 2007
Thursday, September 27, 2007
Update
I'm almost two weeks into my new job. My boss was on vacation on my third day at work, leaving me to take care of her group of 6 staff since I am the most senior among them.
I had to get up earlier for work since this job starts earlier than all my previous jobs. This means I have to go to bed earlier leaving me less online time. But I get to go home slightly earlier and the work's not as hectic although I do seem to be attending more meetings. I guess it's not too bad because the "running about" and the activities will do me good healthwise.
I've been revising chapter 1 of my novel and thinking of posting it here some time later since the publisher did not give me any response on whether he wants to commission the novel so I presume he doesn't. Chapter 2 should have been written one month ago.
I had to get up earlier for work since this job starts earlier than all my previous jobs. This means I have to go to bed earlier leaving me less online time. But I get to go home slightly earlier and the work's not as hectic although I do seem to be attending more meetings. I guess it's not too bad because the "running about" and the activities will do me good healthwise.
I've been revising chapter 1 of my novel and thinking of posting it here some time later since the publisher did not give me any response on whether he wants to commission the novel so I presume he doesn't. Chapter 2 should have been written one month ago.
Wednesday, September 12, 2007
Anxiety Over Going Back To Work
I'm having a little anxiety attack over going back to work next week. Reality seems to be returning into my life.
On Monday, I took a medical test for the new job. It was a rather basic test which included an eye-sight test, colour blindness test, a urine test and a simple physical examination. Other than my blood pressure being on the higher end of normal, I passed the test without any problem. X-ray which was at the doctor's discretion was not required.
Then, yesterday, someone from HR called and asked me how she can pass the car-park card to me. Looks like there's no escape from working with this organisation. After all that I have gone through, especially the tedious interviews prior to securing the job, I know I just can't back off now.
At the first interview, after going through 30 minutes with two senior managers, one of them left and the HR Director was called in. I went through another 15 minutes of questioning, by which time the HR Director has also given his approval to my employment. Then, I had to take a 100 multiple-choice questions English Test within 20 minutes and write a short essay within the next 10 minutes! After this, I had to take a personality test and by then, my head was already aching.
I was then told that since the Executive Director was in, I might as well meet her so that I would not need to come back another day. It was not surprising that by the time I met her and another lady (not sure who she was but must be someone senior), I was really tired physically and mentally. At the end of the interview, I was told that they would need to check with the Managing Director who was not in the office that day, whether he would need to meet me when he was back in town before confirming me for the job.
I kept my fingers crossed that I would not be required to meet him because at that time I was extremely busy with my old job and I was having a bad flu. Unfortunately, luck was not with me. So one day, after postponing the appointment once and couldn't put it off any longer, with a voice like a frog, I went to meet the MD. I knew he was judging me in terms of self presentation and social interaction. I managed to pass this as well.
That's how I got the job.
Which army am I joining?
On Monday, I took a medical test for the new job. It was a rather basic test which included an eye-sight test, colour blindness test, a urine test and a simple physical examination. Other than my blood pressure being on the higher end of normal, I passed the test without any problem. X-ray which was at the doctor's discretion was not required.
Then, yesterday, someone from HR called and asked me how she can pass the car-park card to me. Looks like there's no escape from working with this organisation. After all that I have gone through, especially the tedious interviews prior to securing the job, I know I just can't back off now.
At the first interview, after going through 30 minutes with two senior managers, one of them left and the HR Director was called in. I went through another 15 minutes of questioning, by which time the HR Director has also given his approval to my employment. Then, I had to take a 100 multiple-choice questions English Test within 20 minutes and write a short essay within the next 10 minutes! After this, I had to take a personality test and by then, my head was already aching.
I was then told that since the Executive Director was in, I might as well meet her so that I would not need to come back another day. It was not surprising that by the time I met her and another lady (not sure who she was but must be someone senior), I was really tired physically and mentally. At the end of the interview, I was told that they would need to check with the Managing Director who was not in the office that day, whether he would need to meet me when he was back in town before confirming me for the job.
I kept my fingers crossed that I would not be required to meet him because at that time I was extremely busy with my old job and I was having a bad flu. Unfortunately, luck was not with me. So one day, after postponing the appointment once and couldn't put it off any longer, with a voice like a frog, I went to meet the MD. I knew he was judging me in terms of self presentation and social interaction. I managed to pass this as well.
That's how I got the job.
Which army am I joining?
Saturday, September 01, 2007
Farewell 2
On the last day of my work in the office, the office tea lady said to me "chun hai ng sei tak nei chow" (Cantonese pinyin). It means something like "hate to see you go and will miss you".
Although she's one "dragon lady" in her field but she and I got along really well. I would always throw my waste paper into a special box for her to collect for recycling (she gets paid when she sells the paper) and gave her lai see (red packet) every Chinese New Year as a personal thank you for all the times she made drinks for me. But I can see that it's not because of these that she said those parting words to me. I know, from those times when we talk at the pantry, she has a certain respect for me and I really appreciate that.
There were two office boys whom I also gave lai see. One came to shake my hand and said he only just knew I was leaving that day so he was unprepared with any parting gift. I wished him well and said I did not expect any which was why I only told him I was leaving on my last day of work. The other office boy was working late and helped me cart my five years of "rubbish" to my car. They, understanding the office environment, had always provided me with prompt service whenever I wanted my documents despatched and they know I appreciate them.
Note: A lai see can be given by an elder to a youngster and from a superior to a subordinate. I'm still trying to search for a better link on this custom.
Although she's one "dragon lady" in her field but she and I got along really well. I would always throw my waste paper into a special box for her to collect for recycling (she gets paid when she sells the paper) and gave her lai see (red packet) every Chinese New Year as a personal thank you for all the times she made drinks for me. But I can see that it's not because of these that she said those parting words to me. I know, from those times when we talk at the pantry, she has a certain respect for me and I really appreciate that.
There were two office boys whom I also gave lai see. One came to shake my hand and said he only just knew I was leaving that day so he was unprepared with any parting gift. I wished him well and said I did not expect any which was why I only told him I was leaving on my last day of work. The other office boy was working late and helped me cart my five years of "rubbish" to my car. They, understanding the office environment, had always provided me with prompt service whenever I wanted my documents despatched and they know I appreciate them.
Note: A lai see can be given by an elder to a youngster and from a superior to a subordinate. I'm still trying to search for a better link on this custom.
Friday, August 31, 2007
Freedom
After mopping around the house and running some errands for two days, I am feeling better today. Maybe because my brother came over and took us out for lunch and dinner so it was sort of a holiday for me. I was surprised to find myself singing in the shower again and thinking I want to get an MP3 to enjoy more songs. I want to take up arts lessons and music lessons. I also want to complete the novel I am working on. There seem to be so many things I want to do.
Hmmm. I'm not retired yet. I only have two weeks off work. What am I thinking? I am just imagining I will have more time to do my stuff even when I am working full time again. Maybe it's just a dream. And freedom is valid for a limited time period only.
But the good thing is, I've started to seriously read a book again. I mean, word by word, page by page, from beginning to end, not speed-reading, skimming or skipping any words or pages at all. I take a book with me when I go out and read a page or two whenever I have the chance. I'm now starting on my second 200-pages book. Let's hope this good stuff is going to be a permanent part of my life.
Hmmm. I'm not retired yet. I only have two weeks off work. What am I thinking? I am just imagining I will have more time to do my stuff even when I am working full time again. Maybe it's just a dream. And freedom is valid for a limited time period only.
But the good thing is, I've started to seriously read a book again. I mean, word by word, page by page, from beginning to end, not speed-reading, skimming or skipping any words or pages at all. I take a book with me when I go out and read a page or two whenever I have the chance. I'm now starting on my second 200-pages book. Let's hope this good stuff is going to be a permanent part of my life.
Wednesday, August 29, 2007
Farewell 1 - Friends
Yesterday was my last day of work at the old office. It had been an emotional trip for me. I had been with the company five years ago when it was still relatively small and with some of the older staff had worked with the company until it is now what it is, a bigger organisation with more than one hundred percent increase in revenue and labour force.
A close colleague who was also one of my daily lunch partners had been as distraught and emotional as me at my leaving. We were there struggling with the company together and she felt sad that those who have helped the company so much were not rewarded for being loyal but were instead unappreciated.
She is not one to write beautiful words but she got me a lovely gift and card in which she wrote her touching farewell:
"The feeling of bitter, upset disappointment and mix feeling over your departure from xxx. On the other hand, feeling sweet happy when you accept the new job. New phase of life to meet up with more people and have better opportunity in future.
A small gift for you hoping you to have more time to enjoy candle light dinners wih love ones.
Wishing you all the best. Be happy and most of all good health.
Your bitter sweet friend"
She had coaxed me to accept my new job when I was hesitant. She did not want me to leave a good job without getting another one. We were close enough for her to know my personal life situation, how I had struggled to take care of my mother while still holding onto the tough job and how because of things happening in my life that had taken much of my time, I am still without a partner. She also knows of the then present political situation I was in and the sufferings I had gone through. She wants me very much to find someone to be happy with and to share my emotions.
She knew that I used to have a boyfriend from another town and although I never told her that we had broken up, she must have guessed and we both know that I am now single.
Good colleagues are like family. We have met each other everyday since the year 2002 and now we won't be meeting each other everyday anymore. We console each other that I will be working not too far away, that we will meet often and that I will come over for lunch when I can.
This is like experiencing the grief of loss. I have similar feelings about not going to the office. The emotions I felt this morning about yesterday being my last day of work at the office and never going there to check in for work anymore in future, seems so unreal. I felt so sad at the loss but loss of what? It's difficult to define but I think I do know what. Not just friends and despite the actions (or non actions) of certain people, I had enjoyed my work and was proud of it. My friend and I knew (and felt) that my career was cut short by these people when it should have ended with a retirement at this xxx. But we also both know that it's not a struggle worth fighting for.
I'll commemorate my other colleagues' farewells to me in later posts.
A close colleague who was also one of my daily lunch partners had been as distraught and emotional as me at my leaving. We were there struggling with the company together and she felt sad that those who have helped the company so much were not rewarded for being loyal but were instead unappreciated.
She is not one to write beautiful words but she got me a lovely gift and card in which she wrote her touching farewell:
"The feeling of bitter, upset disappointment and mix feeling over your departure from xxx. On the other hand, feeling sweet happy when you accept the new job. New phase of life to meet up with more people and have better opportunity in future.
A small gift for you hoping you to have more time to enjoy candle light dinners wih love ones.
Wishing you all the best. Be happy and most of all good health.
Your bitter sweet friend"
She had coaxed me to accept my new job when I was hesitant. She did not want me to leave a good job without getting another one. We were close enough for her to know my personal life situation, how I had struggled to take care of my mother while still holding onto the tough job and how because of things happening in my life that had taken much of my time, I am still without a partner. She also knows of the then present political situation I was in and the sufferings I had gone through. She wants me very much to find someone to be happy with and to share my emotions.
She knew that I used to have a boyfriend from another town and although I never told her that we had broken up, she must have guessed and we both know that I am now single.
Good colleagues are like family. We have met each other everyday since the year 2002 and now we won't be meeting each other everyday anymore. We console each other that I will be working not too far away, that we will meet often and that I will come over for lunch when I can.
This is like experiencing the grief of loss. I have similar feelings about not going to the office. The emotions I felt this morning about yesterday being my last day of work at the office and never going there to check in for work anymore in future, seems so unreal. I felt so sad at the loss but loss of what? It's difficult to define but I think I do know what. Not just friends and despite the actions (or non actions) of certain people, I had enjoyed my work and was proud of it. My friend and I knew (and felt) that my career was cut short by these people when it should have ended with a retirement at this xxx. But we also both know that it's not a struggle worth fighting for.
I'll commemorate my other colleagues' farewells to me in later posts.
Thursday, August 23, 2007
New Job
I've been absent from the blog for longer than I expected. I had been ill (down with flu, fever and cough) for two weeks. I had also been busy with some online workshop stuff and trying to clear up outstanding projects before my last day at work.
I managed to sneak in some time to attend interviews for a new job and I got the job. The environment/situation would be slightly different from my present job though the basic work is still the same. Since it's a management/consultancy firm, I'll also need to meet clients from the portfolio of companies I'll be handling and do some products/business development stuff to expand the company's business/revenue. I'm a little apprehensive since I'm almost anti-social and hate pretentiousness. Let's see if I'll last. The important thing is that this job should leave me enough time to look into some of my real interests.
I managed to sneak in some time to attend interviews for a new job and I got the job. The environment/situation would be slightly different from my present job though the basic work is still the same. Since it's a management/consultancy firm, I'll also need to meet clients from the portfolio of companies I'll be handling and do some products/business development stuff to expand the company's business/revenue. I'm a little apprehensive since I'm almost anti-social and hate pretentiousness. Let's see if I'll last. The important thing is that this job should leave me enough time to look into some of my real interests.
Monday, July 23, 2007
Bad Day
Today I had such a bad day in the office that I felt like crying and cursing people who had made my life more difficult than it should be. Yeah, it's bad of me but I am so "tired" of the situation and some people there. People are just so unfeeling.
I can't go into details right now but if I do, the tale would really be so unbelievable. Maybe one day, all these will be in a book (probably self-published, who would want to publish my pathetic life story, huh?).
I think today, my brain won't even allow me to rant properly so I'll shut up now.
I can't go into details right now but if I do, the tale would really be so unbelievable. Maybe one day, all these will be in a book (probably self-published, who would want to publish my pathetic life story, huh?).
I think today, my brain won't even allow me to rant properly so I'll shut up now.
Saturday, June 30, 2007
My Job
I've given notice of resignation to my boss and in two months' time I'm free. Of course, meanwhile, I'll be actively looking for another job. Something that won't cause me more time than it should and that would spare me enough time to do some serious writing, and to disentangle my personal stuff from its chaotic mess.
Oh! About my resignation, I hope I won't be called in to the Managing Director's room for interrogation!
About blogspot, I've friends complaining about blogspot recently. For me, the problem starts when I try to change my fonts and colors. Over the past two months, I've attempted this a few times and each time my computer got stalled. So my links remained very light blue and difficult to see with certain computers (depending on settings, I think). Anyway, I tried again just now and the problem persisted.
Oh! About my resignation, I hope I won't be called in to the Managing Director's room for interrogation!
About blogspot, I've friends complaining about blogspot recently. For me, the problem starts when I try to change my fonts and colors. Over the past two months, I've attempted this a few times and each time my computer got stalled. So my links remained very light blue and difficult to see with certain computers (depending on settings, I think). Anyway, I tried again just now and the problem persisted.
Thursday, June 28, 2007
Wind of Change
I've finally typed out my resignation letter and it's now sleeping in my office desk drawer, waiting to be waken up tomorrow morning to the shocked face of my boss.
I've been thinking about resigning for ages and I'm glad I'm finally taking the final steps to realising this thought. It's sad to leave after putting in five years of hard work but I am going nowhere with the job and things are getting tougher for me to handle in terms of volume of work, staffing problems and management's disregard of the situation. I'm too overstressed not to resign now.
To the company, it's a bad time for me to leave because July, August and September are busy months. In July and August, there'll be directors' meeting to arrange and attend, accounts to audit and annual report to prepare and edit in preparation for the company's annual general meeting in September.
Beside these, I have several other projects on hand to finish. I anticipate an earful from my boss tomorrow. The flu and sinus infection I suffered from last week is making me weak physically and mentally so I must really be strong and not retract my resignation (keeping fingers crossed).
I've been thinking about resigning for ages and I'm glad I'm finally taking the final steps to realising this thought. It's sad to leave after putting in five years of hard work but I am going nowhere with the job and things are getting tougher for me to handle in terms of volume of work, staffing problems and management's disregard of the situation. I'm too overstressed not to resign now.
To the company, it's a bad time for me to leave because July, August and September are busy months. In July and August, there'll be directors' meeting to arrange and attend, accounts to audit and annual report to prepare and edit in preparation for the company's annual general meeting in September.
Beside these, I have several other projects on hand to finish. I anticipate an earful from my boss tomorrow. The flu and sinus infection I suffered from last week is making me weak physically and mentally so I must really be strong and not retract my resignation (keeping fingers crossed).
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