After mopping around the house and running some errands for two days, I am feeling better today. Maybe because my brother came over and took us out for lunch and dinner so it was sort of a holiday for me. I was surprised to find myself singing in the shower again and thinking I want to get an MP3 to enjoy more songs. I want to take up arts lessons and music lessons. I also want to complete the novel I am working on. There seem to be so many things I want to do.
Hmmm. I'm not retired yet. I only have two weeks off work. What am I thinking? I am just imagining I will have more time to do my stuff even when I am working full time again. Maybe it's just a dream. And freedom is valid for a limited time period only.
But the good thing is, I've started to seriously read a book again. I mean, word by word, page by page, from beginning to end, not speed-reading, skimming or skipping any words or pages at all. I take a book with me when I go out and read a page or two whenever I have the chance. I'm now starting on my second 200-pages book. Let's hope this good stuff is going to be a permanent part of my life.
Friday, August 31, 2007
Wednesday, August 29, 2007
Farewell 1 - Friends
Yesterday was my last day of work at the old office. It had been an emotional trip for me. I had been with the company five years ago when it was still relatively small and with some of the older staff had worked with the company until it is now what it is, a bigger organisation with more than one hundred percent increase in revenue and labour force.
A close colleague who was also one of my daily lunch partners had been as distraught and emotional as me at my leaving. We were there struggling with the company together and she felt sad that those who have helped the company so much were not rewarded for being loyal but were instead unappreciated.
She is not one to write beautiful words but she got me a lovely gift and card in which she wrote her touching farewell:
"The feeling of bitter, upset disappointment and mix feeling over your departure from xxx. On the other hand, feeling sweet happy when you accept the new job. New phase of life to meet up with more people and have better opportunity in future.
A small gift for you hoping you to have more time to enjoy candle light dinners wih love ones.
Wishing you all the best. Be happy and most of all good health.
Your bitter sweet friend"
She had coaxed me to accept my new job when I was hesitant. She did not want me to leave a good job without getting another one. We were close enough for her to know my personal life situation, how I had struggled to take care of my mother while still holding onto the tough job and how because of things happening in my life that had taken much of my time, I am still without a partner. She also knows of the then present political situation I was in and the sufferings I had gone through. She wants me very much to find someone to be happy with and to share my emotions.
She knew that I used to have a boyfriend from another town and although I never told her that we had broken up, she must have guessed and we both know that I am now single.
Good colleagues are like family. We have met each other everyday since the year 2002 and now we won't be meeting each other everyday anymore. We console each other that I will be working not too far away, that we will meet often and that I will come over for lunch when I can.
This is like experiencing the grief of loss. I have similar feelings about not going to the office. The emotions I felt this morning about yesterday being my last day of work at the office and never going there to check in for work anymore in future, seems so unreal. I felt so sad at the loss but loss of what? It's difficult to define but I think I do know what. Not just friends and despite the actions (or non actions) of certain people, I had enjoyed my work and was proud of it. My friend and I knew (and felt) that my career was cut short by these people when it should have ended with a retirement at this xxx. But we also both know that it's not a struggle worth fighting for.
I'll commemorate my other colleagues' farewells to me in later posts.
A close colleague who was also one of my daily lunch partners had been as distraught and emotional as me at my leaving. We were there struggling with the company together and she felt sad that those who have helped the company so much were not rewarded for being loyal but were instead unappreciated.
She is not one to write beautiful words but she got me a lovely gift and card in which she wrote her touching farewell:
"The feeling of bitter, upset disappointment and mix feeling over your departure from xxx. On the other hand, feeling sweet happy when you accept the new job. New phase of life to meet up with more people and have better opportunity in future.
A small gift for you hoping you to have more time to enjoy candle light dinners wih love ones.
Wishing you all the best. Be happy and most of all good health.
Your bitter sweet friend"
She had coaxed me to accept my new job when I was hesitant. She did not want me to leave a good job without getting another one. We were close enough for her to know my personal life situation, how I had struggled to take care of my mother while still holding onto the tough job and how because of things happening in my life that had taken much of my time, I am still without a partner. She also knows of the then present political situation I was in and the sufferings I had gone through. She wants me very much to find someone to be happy with and to share my emotions.
She knew that I used to have a boyfriend from another town and although I never told her that we had broken up, she must have guessed and we both know that I am now single.
Good colleagues are like family. We have met each other everyday since the year 2002 and now we won't be meeting each other everyday anymore. We console each other that I will be working not too far away, that we will meet often and that I will come over for lunch when I can.
This is like experiencing the grief of loss. I have similar feelings about not going to the office. The emotions I felt this morning about yesterday being my last day of work at the office and never going there to check in for work anymore in future, seems so unreal. I felt so sad at the loss but loss of what? It's difficult to define but I think I do know what. Not just friends and despite the actions (or non actions) of certain people, I had enjoyed my work and was proud of it. My friend and I knew (and felt) that my career was cut short by these people when it should have ended with a retirement at this xxx. But we also both know that it's not a struggle worth fighting for.
I'll commemorate my other colleagues' farewells to me in later posts.
Thursday, August 23, 2007
New Job
I've been absent from the blog for longer than I expected. I had been ill (down with flu, fever and cough) for two weeks. I had also been busy with some online workshop stuff and trying to clear up outstanding projects before my last day at work.
I managed to sneak in some time to attend interviews for a new job and I got the job. The environment/situation would be slightly different from my present job though the basic work is still the same. Since it's a management/consultancy firm, I'll also need to meet clients from the portfolio of companies I'll be handling and do some products/business development stuff to expand the company's business/revenue. I'm a little apprehensive since I'm almost anti-social and hate pretentiousness. Let's see if I'll last. The important thing is that this job should leave me enough time to look into some of my real interests.
I managed to sneak in some time to attend interviews for a new job and I got the job. The environment/situation would be slightly different from my present job though the basic work is still the same. Since it's a management/consultancy firm, I'll also need to meet clients from the portfolio of companies I'll be handling and do some products/business development stuff to expand the company's business/revenue. I'm a little apprehensive since I'm almost anti-social and hate pretentiousness. Let's see if I'll last. The important thing is that this job should leave me enough time to look into some of my real interests.
Wednesday, August 01, 2007
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