American Idol Final

Jordin Sparks was great with her three songs especially the last one. I didn't know that both the finalists were going to sing the same composition.

I thought she was doing a cover version of some singer's song and I thought she sang it very well. The song sounded familiar and yet there was something original in it for her. As there was also no introduction of another winning composition, I said to my sister who was watching the show with me, "hey, how is it that she's not singing a new composition?"

Then, somewhere in the middle of the song, I realised that it was the same song Blake sang earlier. Gosh, it sounded so different and so much better. She made the song hers and it was a good close for her. She was fantastic. Like Simon Cowell said, she wiped the floor with Blake on that song.

She sang all three songs beautifully and I think with that last song, she should be the American Idol.

Interesting Read

Gosh, so much to read at PFFA this week: Design on the Reader, Negative Capability and The Poet's Trade.

Thanks guys for the threads.

Mother's Day

I went to Mom's grave to visit her. Along the journey, I felt like she was still alive and we were just driving out of town to visit her. The only shit is that we can't see or feel her physically. It was a very funny feeling, sad and weird. I miss her and I sometimes wonder when I can be with her again. Then at this point, all those religious beliefs or disbeliefs flood the mind. Existence in this world becomes as weird as those thoughts I have that day.

Anyway, I bought her three very red carnations, which the florist taught me how to open up the buds, and a big very yellow chrysanthemum. The red carnations represented myself, my sister and my brother while the yellow chrysanthemum, my dad. All of us were there.

Dyslexia

I'm still trying to understand dyslexia and the impact it has on my ability to read and write. Sometimes, I cannot help having thoughts of how much better a writer I could be without dyslexia especially when I read the works of more eloquent writers. It's frustrating and the insecurity really sucks.

Some links:
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dyslexia
ldonline.org/

Reading Books

I must really get myself to finish a book properly. I bought The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath a few months ago but I've not really started reading it properly. I've flipped the pages and read excerpts from the book like what I've been doing with a few other books but it's nothing like reading the first page of a book to the end. But, actually, at the end of the day, I do finish the whole book. I think I'll have to read only one book at a time, then maybe I may be re-discplined to read the conventional way.

I'll post my thoughts on the book when I finish reading it.

Melinda Doolittle

Oh damn! Melinda was booted out of American Idol, not that I'm surprised though. My family has predicted that could happen.

It's really a shame because I think she's the best singer in AI. I thought Blake should be out instead and if not, then Jordin. Really, in AI, it's not a matter of who is the better singer but who has a bigger fan base and Melinda lost out because of this. So, Blake's going to be the American Idol.

Meralgia Paresthetica

I've been reading up on the nerve disorder my father's having and found the following informative articles which I would print for him to read.

When I asked him, he told me that there was still a slight pain on both sides at the groin area. He has finished his nerves medication but still has the painkillers. He has not been taking the pain pills because the pain has only been slight and because I've told him to only take them if it's really bad since they're not good for the kidneys, especially for his age.

Other than preventive measures, there's not much that can be done for his condition. I can only remind him to sit properly so that his stomach is not folded up and pressing on the affected area. He has a big tummy though he's not really fat. Other than that, he can't wear tight clothings and he probably may benefit with some light waist bending exercise.

His eyesight has not been good and I still haven't found the time to take him for his cataract surgery. The plan's to do it in July because June will see me with some major tasks at work. I hope he'll be patient about this.

ninds.nih.gov/disorders

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Meralgia_paraesthetica

http://www.healthscout.com/ency/68/35/main.html

Transtromer's Tracks

Translated into English and as appeared in Hass "Twentieth Century Poets"

2 A.M.:moonlight. The train has stopped
out in a field. Far off sparks from a town,
flickering coldly on the horizon.

As when a man goes so deep into his dream
He will never remember that he was there
When he returns again to his room.

Or when a person goes so deep into a sickness
That his days all become flickering sparks, a swarm,
Feeble and cold on the horizon.

The train is entirely motionless.
2 o’clock: strong moonlight, few stars.

Discussion at PFFA here and here
.....

Orthopedic

Today, Dad went for a check-up on his spine and hips at the orthopedics. The x-ray taken the other day showed that he has mild OA. He has been complaining about some slight pain on both sides around the groin area. The gastroenterologist which did the colonscopy was not able to answer our queries and we had to make an appointment with the orthopedist quickly to quell our apprehension that the pain could be a symptom of something serious.

Dad's blood test results have shown a slightly high PSA count and though this is expected of an old man his age, we are ignorant enough to fear that prostate cancer may have spread to the bones. Today, we found out that his bones are normal except for an onset of osteoporosis around the hips but again this is expected of a man his age. I informed the othopedist that the gastroenterologist has told me that Dad's prostate is slightly larger than normal but is smooth. I asked and the othopedist told me that if it was cancerous, it would be rough. Further if there was prostate cancer, the PSA level would be much higher than my Dad's. But he advised us to check again in three to six months time.

He then explained to me that Dad's condition is due to nerves and it's called meralgia parasthetica (he even wrote it nicely on a piece of paper for me and said I could read up on this). Nice guy. We got more from him than the gastroenterologist and also charged a much lower fee despite being a surgeon as well.

It was a stressful day again but at least I'm happy now, Dad's in good health for his age. Next stop will be at the eye clinic to look at his cataract. He also has retinitis pigmentosa which is incurable but hopefully after the cataract is operated on, his vision will be slightly better. Then, three months from now, to the surgeon to check on his prostate.

Bon Jovi

is so cool, him and the band. Yes, I've been watching American Idol again.

I got a headache after a stressful day at the hospital and then reading a lot of research material so I did not do much else

NaPoWriMo

Today I am on leave from work, to do some house chores, cook and take care of my dad who's on a liquid diet (and fasting at night) in preparation for a colonoscopy tomorrow morning.

I have a bit of spare time now and then to do some reading and writing but ironically, NaPoWriMo month has ended so there's no deadline to meet.

This NaPo has been extremely difficult for me in terms of time spent on writing the poems but I am glad that I am able to make it through. Each NaPo proved and confirmed things to me which I had doubted before. I have gained a lot from the experience. This year, I find that I have made progress in my writing and I was able to apply the knowledge I had gathered in my search to improve my writing, in a much easier and better way.

I've been thinking that I won't be doing NaPo next year if I'm going to be as busy I was this year. I think I know what I should be doing with my writing. I think I know what I am capable of, what I can do and what I cannot. Though the urge to do the "cannot" is as always very strong. We'll see.

My NaPoWriMo 2007's poems are here (at PFFA) or here (at Autumn Verses)